


Not You

by Little Dipper (Tox)



Series: Billdip Prompt Fills [1]
Category: Gravity Falls
Genre: Established Relationship, Human Bill Cipher, Hurt/Comfort, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-29
Updated: 2020-04-29
Packaged: 2021-03-01 23:06:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,115
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23905123
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tox/pseuds/Little%20Dipper
Summary: "Don't you say that... not you."A billdip drabble in which Dipper calls Bill a monster, and Bill exposes a rare side of himself in response.Part of a series of prompt fills for everyone's favorite tree/triangle ship.
Relationships: Bill Cipher/Dipper Pines
Series: Billdip Prompt Fills [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1723078
Comments: 7
Kudos: 201





	Not You

**Author's Note:**

> i'm itching to make billdip content, so here's the first entry in a prompt series! prompt list is here: https://fanficmarvelchick.tumblr.com/post/146711676167
> 
> and while you are free to imagine any humanoid demon bill you want, here is my personal design: https://i.imgur.com/fs2IUTr.png

Bill Cipher, for all the redemption he had gone through, for everything he'd done with one Dipper Pines, was not good at controlling his anger. Eons of lashing out were difficult to turn back, and there were times when their relationship suffered for it. Dipper found himself weakened by each occurance, convinced more and more that this could never work; that, for all the love he'd poured into this, Bill would never change.

It was an argument born from Bill's possessive nature. Dipper had caught up with an old fling, a vampire he'd met when he was just beginning his work as a paranormal researcher. Bill found out. Dipper hadn't wanted him to, because he knew exactly this would happen - that Bill would assume foul play. Hiding it seemed to have made it worse, however, as Bill was convinced something was going on that wasn't. 

They shouted and snarled and stomped around the apartment before the climax of the scuffle came. Bill grabbed Dipper by the shirt collar and shoved him up against the wall, hard, with the declaration that Dipper was _his_ and would remain so. 

In the beat of a moment after, Bill seemed to realize he'd done something wrong, even as Dipper maintained a blank face. He released Dipper and stepped back, still fuming, but prepared to say something -

"You really haven't changed, have you?" Dipper asked in a low, dark voice. "You're still a monster."

Bill's eyes widened, and rage unlike any Dipper had seen before crossed his face. He surged forward, looming over Dipper, and shouted: _"Don't say that!"_ As Dipper didn't so much as flinch, Bill faltered, bared fangs slowly being hidden as his lips lowered into a quivering frown. "Don't... don't you say that," he repeated, taking a step back. Alarm flashed through Dipper's mind as Bill seemed to _shrink,_ ducking his head and wrapping his arms around himself.

"Not... not you."

Unable to see Bill's eyes, Dipper took a hesitant step forward to try and ascertain his state. "Why not?" he asked, cocking his head. "What's special about _me?_ I'm just a plaything to you, aren't I?"

Bill took a step back. "No," he croaked, holding himself tighter. "No, you're _not._ You're - you're..."

"What, Bill?" Dipper had never seen his boyfriend like this before. Not when he was still terrorizing the Falls, and not since they'd moved in together. Bill was _Bill,_ he didn't feel puny mortal emotions. He experienced the universe through a simple lens of joy or rage. Dipper had fallen for him nonetheless, but in that moment it was hard to remember how or why; Bill was hardly worth the emotional toll.

Letting out a frustrated yell, Bill reached up to tug at his own hair, and that was when Dipper saw the tear tracks along the curve of his face. 

"I'm _not_ a monster anymore!" Bill snapped, looking at Dipper in what appeared to be a mix of rage and grief. "I _changed!_ Do you know how hard it's been to undo _eons_ of conditioning?! I made this stupid _body,_ I stopped relying on my _powers_ , I haven't killed a _single_ person - all for _you!"_ He scrubbed at his eyes with the heels of his palms as Dipper stared in shock. "If you were just a plaything, why would I go through so much effort?! Why would I do _any_ of this? You think you're _worthless_ to me?"

Glancing away, Dipper didn't respond.

"I'm not a monster," Bill repeated, sniffling miserably. "Monsters don't feel like _this._ Monsters don't try to impress puny little humans. Monsters don't -"

Bill cut himself off, looking over at Dipper desperately, painfully. "Pine Tree," he said, voice wavering.

"...Yes?" Dipper clenched and unclenched his fists, unsure of how to handle any of this, almost positive that it was just a ploy to make him forget his anger. Even so, when Bill manipulated him, it was usually different. More affectionate and smarmy, never _this._ Never Bill _crying._ Dipper wasn't sure what to make of it, or why Bill would assume it'd work. 

"I love you," Bill said, and Dipper's heart leapt into his throat. "That's why I did any of this. It's even why we're fighting. Because I - I'm so scared to lose you, y'know? I _know_ how people see me. I _know_ who I am. I wasn't made for this. Neither were you." He took a step closer, and Dipper didn't back away. "I try anyway because - because you make me _feel_ things, Pine Tree. _Dipper._ I experience things I don't think I've ever been through with you. Please..." He took in a shaking breath. "Please tell me you don't think I'm... a monster. I'm trying so hard not to be."

He reached out, and Dipper did as well, allowing Bill to clasp both of his hands.

"You actually feel that way?" Dipper asked, warily. He knew he had to keep his guard up. Knew Bill was dangerous, even now. And yet...

"Of course I do," Bill said, bringing Dipper's hands up to nuzzle against his knuckles. "Why else would I be here? For _fun?_ I'm here because I don't want to be anywhere else. I..." A pause. "...I didn't mean to hurt you. I was just... I was so _scared_ -"

With a deep sigh, Dipper finally relented, moving forward so he could tuck himself in against Bill's chest. Bill hugged him tightly, burying his face in Dipper's messy hair, and Dipper could feel him shake in a way that suggested he was crying again.

"Idiot," he muttered, pressing his palm against the fabric of Bill's shirt. "Of course you're a monster."

Bill tensed.

"But that doesn't mean I don't love you," Dipper went on in earnest. "You're _my_ monster. I just wish you'd listen to me when I tell you things like that. My ex isn't someone you need to worry about. Nobody is. If you would just... _listen_ to me, you'd know I don't want to leave you. Ever." He pulled back enough to look up at Bill's startled face. "...You _have_ changed, haven't you?"

Finally, Bill smiled, reaching up to wipe his face again before leaning in to kiss Dipper's forehead. "Yeah. A lot. More than I thought I could." 

"Well, don't change too much," Dipper said, smiling back. "I fell in love with _Bill Cipher,_ and I expect you to stay that way. Just - trust me, okay?"

Nodding, Bill held Dipper tightly, resting their foreheads together. "Yeah. Alright. I think I can manage that."

There was a beat of silence, and then Bill smirked.

"Do we still have makeup sex if we already figured our shit out?"

Yeah, Dipper thought; he was still Bill Cipher.

**Author's Note:**

> not beta'd at all. hope you liked it anyway :')


End file.
